Everyone relies so much on email and other impersonal means to communicate now that I find myself often on the wrong side of things. Face-to-face is even worse. I do not have a poker face, so when I am angry it's there for everyone to see before I can even form a complete sentence. I hate confrontation. It takes a lot for me to speak up for myself or to disagree with someone. I'm talking climbing out of my skin and looking for the nearest exit uncomfortable. I wait too long and everything tends to come out in one long spew. Yeah, I'm a real pip.
Every day I try to be less of a jerk and more like the person who will be missed before she leaves the room. However, I tend to get things more wrong than right. I've hurt people because of my temper. Then it's not "I wonder which rock should I crawl under...," but "here, throw this one at me, and this one, oh and maybe this one too, while you're at it."
The only comfort I take is that I only have to do today once. If I forgot anyone, don't worry. Tomorrow will bring fresh opportunities for me to win that particular popularity contest where the talent portion involves a pack of matches and a bridge.
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